Without Struggle, There Is No Progress.

So, this post was going to be about how it feels like I have a 50 pound brick literally just sitting on my forehead smashing it and my less than extroardinary Super Bowl Sunday (poor Kurt) and how five years ago, when Mr. Warner played for the Rams, I actually met him and have the picture to prove it.

But then I came across this (http://20-somethingdreams.blogspot.com/2009/02/puzzle-peace.html?showComment=1233632820000#c8862670414782301786), and totally got inspired. (And if anyone can tell me how to post a link without actually posting the link, you know like so you can click on a word and go to a site, I would absolutely love your advice!)

So, not only do I love the fact that it incorporates puzzle pieces because autism will always be where my heart is, I love how it made me feel after reading it. And it reminded me of the awesome quote that I'm using as my title. My 7th grade Pre-Algebra teacher told us this one day in class and it has stuck with me. Yes, life is hard. Yes, there are times when you feel like you may not be able to make it through, but you will. Because struggling is a part of life, and no one would have ever gotten anywhere without it. There will always be a little struggle, no matter what you do, but there will also be progress. No, it may not be the ending that you wanted. But you will have gotten through it, and learned things along the way.

I am struggling in a big way right now, for a lot of different reasons: family, finances, school, relationships, and the constant struggle with myself. Am I doing the right thing? Will this make people like me better? Why does it feel like I am literally alone in everything I do? Sure, I have family and friends, but I don't feel like I have real friends. You know, the ones that you can literally call at any second and they will be there to comfort you and assure you that everything will be okay. I'm not sure that I've ever truly had someone like that, and as the years have gone by, I've gotten used to it, and grown to enjoy my own company, or at least that's what I've been telling myself. Because now, I'm 23, and have never felt more alone in my life. I hope that this is rock bottom because I don't know if I can handle anything else. So, as I'm sitting here writing this with tears streaming down my face (I warned you, I'm a crier.), I'm telling myself that yes, things aren't good right now, but I will progress through it all and life will go on and my puzzle will come together to make a beautiful picture that I will be glad to have lived. So I leave you with another of my favorite quotes and I apologize if you're not religious, but this too has helped me.

Do not tell your God how big your storm is...Instead tell your storm how big your God is.

And I plan on doing just that.