I really am sorry that I haven't been on here in what feels like forever. I could give you a million different excuses but instead, I'll just let you in on what's been going on.
-I finally finished my portfolio! In Missouri, in order to get certified you have to type up this ridiculous portfolio and include 42 artifacts to go along with 42 rationales and reflections about your teaching. It's so dumb and I'm pretty sure no one even reads it, but whatever, I'm DONE!
-I'm really sick of people not appreciating what they have. I.E. When the speech/language implementer got one of the positions that I was DYING for, then told me that she got it and wasn't too excited about it. When I asked her why she wasn't happy? She put on the fakest smile I've ever seen and said "I'm happy, can't you see?" And I basically could have started bawling right there.
-When people STEAL, especially other people's blogs!!! I'm sure most of you have heard, but the so called, MissMusing, was a total FAKE. She (or he, who really knows) has been plagiarizing all of her blogs! And basically word for freakin word! Read more here.
-I'm beginning to distance myself as far from my mom as I can without her knowing it because if she were to realize it, she would keep my little brother away from me and I couldn't handle that.
An example of something she's done recently, you ask? Oh well, remember how I didn't get that dream job of mine? And was basically heartbroken, wondering what in the world was wrong with me? Well, I had seen her earlier in the day and told her that I hadn't gotten it. Then I went home and called like 4 hours later. Upon answering the phone, no hello or anything, she asks if it's really important. Why? I ask. Is someone bleeding from the head? Do I need to drop what I'm doing and rush to someone's aid? Oh no, my sister had started telling her about the fabulous Easter she had with her boyfriend and his family and my mom was really excited to hear about it. Yeah, I'm actually contemplating my career choice and whether I'm good enough or not, but sure you keep listening to K's Easter story. Loads more important. A second example, you ask? Well, I'm just not sure I could think of one, oh wait, yes I can. Over the weekend I was planning on taking some Graduation pictures (and before you start thinking I'm a total loser, because it's college, not high school, these are what I'm putting my invitations on for my grad party) So, I'm getting ready and thinking I look okay enough for pictures and my mom and I get in the car. She has this crazy expensive camera that takes really good pictures so we were going to go to the park. And I'm really not super needy or anything, but ya know, it'd be nice to have your mom say that you look pretty, especially when you hear her tell your sister on an hourly (yes, not just daily, but every time I freakin turn around) basis. Did she comment at all on how I looked? Nope, not once. This is after she looks me up and down, then walks away without saying anything. And sadly, I would have rather she lied.
-There is a car that drives past my house approximately 3 times daily and blares their horn as loud and annoying as possible. I want to run out there and freak out, but my passiveness stops me everytime.
I can't think of anything else right now, pretty sure my brain is fried from the portfolio. Hope all is well with all of you!
awwwwwwww it'll be alright. and that is really annoying that ur mom tells ur sis she's gorgeous every freakin hour. maybe she does it to help her self esteem or something.
ReplyDeletebummer day! it sounds to me like you are worked up enough to put that passiveness behind you. i am kinda like that. get real angry, then just go all out on everyone that bugs you. but, as we all know, that does not solve problems. it only feels really good. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, hang in there! You deserve better than all of that, and don't you forget it!
ReplyDeleteI had to complete a portfolio-like beast in my first two years of teaching... that shit sucks! Enjoy that it's done, have a tasty beverage, and ignore your mom when she calls you! :D
ReplyDeleteHopefully the moms will start to miss you, and be more forthcoming with the nice-ness if you're all of a sudden super busy.
I think you're pretty! And you are awesome at what you do. Please don't let the slow job market make you doubt your capabilities as a teacher because, my dear, you ROCK!
ReplyDeleteD, you are ADORABLE. My mom is stingy with compliments too. It's hard, right? And that implementer. Ugh. I am mad at her right now too. She is not happy and I have realized that it's true that misery loves company. All I can say is Karma is a bitch. And good things will come to you. Mark my words.
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation my mother continues to call me fat. When I asked why she smiled, flipped her hair and said "Oh misery loves company"
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D, you are awesome! Things are going to be amazing for you next year, I just know it.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard to shrug off things when they come from your own mother, but have you tried talking to her about it? Maybe she has no idea what she's doing or how it's affecting you.